Relationship IQ
Are you in a healthy relationship?
Anyone can become angry – that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way – this is not easy.
~ Aristotle, The Nicomachean Ethics
Emotions are never meant to be ignored but to be explored. Our emotions are tell-tail signs that there is more than meets the eye. What do you make of emotions or is it what does your emotions make of you? In order to understand oneself, you must be in tune with what it is your emotions are saying about the situation you are experiencing in that moment. You may have feelings about a past experience that was triggered by a current situation. When you factor in others’ emotional state, the relationship can become dicey if you do not know how to balance your feelings with theirs. That is not to say, you must ignore your feelings. On the contrary, awareness of your emotional state will most likely make it easier to discern the difference between whether your actions are based on your perception of the truth or reality. Steven Stosny makes the statement that we are more sensitive to others’ negative emotions than our own, which makes us more prone to self-deception. Read more
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Relationship intelligence quotient (RIQ) is different from emotional intelligence (EI). EI is the capability of individuals to recognize their own, and other people’s emotions and to manage them accordingly; whereas, RIQ focuses on all internal and external influences that promote or prohibit healthy relationships. However, in order to understand how to relate to others in a manner that elevates our overall quality of life and happiness, we must consider how emotions play a factor. Additionally, having a high emotional IQ gives us the ability to recognize others’ emotional state and read between the lines while engaging in conversation, etc. Do not allow your emotional state to override rational thinking but instead recognize the dynamics of the emotions in the relationship to improve it.
According to Roy Biancalana (Relationship Coach), people who don’t know how to relate with others in healthy, conscious ways rarely experience success in life or love. Far too often, our lives are filled with drama and conflict. Our relationships are shallow, enmeshed, dishonest or distant. Agreements aren’t kept, feelings are not expressed and healthy boundaries are not set and enforced. A low RIQ leads to much suffering and chaos. Read more
According to Roy Biancalana (Relationship Coach), people who don’t know how to relate with others in healthy, conscious ways rarely experience success in life or love. Far too often, our lives are filled with drama and conflict. Our relationships are shallow, enmeshed, dishonest or distant. Agreements aren’t kept, feelings are not expressed and healthy boundaries are not set and enforced. A low RIQ leads to much suffering and chaos. Read more
Where violence in the family is a factor, emotional intelligence may be lower. A study by Konstantinos Tsirigotis and Joanna Luczak on “Emotional Intelligence of Women Who Experience Domestic Violence” showed that perpetrators have lower emotional intelligence than the general population, which seems to be associated with a stronger tendency towards violence. Furthermore, this appears to result from the fact that they may not be aware of their emotions and have no insight into how their emotions are formed. The presented research results indicate that abilities and skills making up emotional intelligence in women experiencing domestic violence are less developed/ formed than in women not experiencing domestic violence. That can mean that women experiencing domestic violence are worse at recognizing emotions and can utilize them in their lives to a lower degree than women not experiencing domestic violence. Read more
Related articles:
Learning to Manage Emotions Boosts Children’s Well-being – Robert T. Muller Ph.D. Read more
Beware of Anger – Rick Hanson Ph.D. Read more
Do This To Stop Lashing Out At Your Loving Partner – Margaret Moore Read more
The Pursuit of Happiness – Robert J. Maurer Ph.D. Read more
Be Mine: Dealing With Possessiveness in a Relationship – Lisa Firestone Ph.D. Read more
Blogs:
Invisible Chain: Coercive control in relationships- Lisa Fontes Read more
Hope for Relationships: the whole-person approach to healing – Gregory L. Jantz, Ph.D. Read more